Just about every parent has heard of the terrible twos. It’s that period of life when a child is two. Supposedly they become terrible. Acting out, rebellious … suddenly aware of their own power and self-dom, they wield it with aplomb, spouting, “No.” or “I don’t wanna.” at any turn. It is an important era in the development of their character and personhood, that they begin to understand the limits of themselves and others. And it seems to begin at two, with a rather sudden onslaught of apparent disobedience and rebellion. I never experienced this with my children. Maybe it was because I understood what two was all about, but the twos seemed to go well for me. Three on the other hand … the threes were terrible. And yet, also not really. Neither of my children were horrible toddlers. Inquistive? Yes. Self-motivated? Yes. But the threes were more difficult than the twos.
So I’m not sure what to think now that my blog is three. We turned three the other day. July 7. I realized it a day late and now I’m blogging about it even later. I’m ambivalent about my blogiversary these days. I began this blog as an exercise in community to which I no longer belong and from which I was rudely dismissed when I began to point to inconsistencies in leadership. Then I became the problem. I continue to grieve that gaping hole in my life and struggle with the accompanying anger, stress and mistrust on a daily basis.
On the other hand, I have found a new community of friends to whom I owe a great debt for the love, grace and patience they have granted me as I’ve walked this road. Alone, yet accompanied virtually by a host of companions. They go with me on this road, some before, some behind. All calling out to one another that yes, we can walk this way, we can. It’s a careful community. Our skin is in various stages of healing from the burn so we are tender and raw. Perhaps not yet ready for IRL community. Or only ready for it in small doses with carefully selected friends.
So this blog has been an incredible exercise in community. 2462 comments. 827 posts (more or less). I blog at least once a week, most weeks several times a week. Most posts are commented on. Sometimes I get a good idea. We’ll see if the threes are better than or more difficult than the twos 😉 …
