Vermont Vignette
January 24th, 2008 by Sonja

Because I needed a good giggle … here’s a look at how I grew up. At least two of my readers will get these, the rest of you will wonder how I’m still sane, or perhaps begin to understand my lack thereof. For the record, I have direct, personal experience with all of the below … yes, all of them.

Subject: a Vermont check…

Forget Rednecks ….

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Vermonters……

–If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Vermont.

–If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in Vermont.

–If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Vermont.

–If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Vermont.

–If you measure distance in hours, you live in Vermont.

–If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Vermont.

–If you have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again, you live in Vermont. (note – this would mean “in the car” because no one has a/c in the house)

–If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Vermont.

–If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in Vermont.

–If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Vermont.

–If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Vermont.

–If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Vermont .

–If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Vermont. (my personal favorite)

–If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, mud season and road construction season, you live in Vermont.

–If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Vermont.

–If you find 10 degrees “a little chilly”, you live in Vermont.

–If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Vermont friends & others, you live in Vermont …


7 Responses  
  • Erin writes:
    January 24th, 200812:39 pmat

    I found a few about Oregon. They aren’t Foxworthy, but they are true:

    You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans in the trash.
    You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
    You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette.
    You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps, or from California.
    You know a bride and groom who registered at REI.
    You go out of state and wait in your car for someone to pump your gas.
    You’ve witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown like its no big deal.

           
  • Sonja writes:
    January 24th, 20081:27 pmat

    You’ve witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown like its no big deal.

    Ow … that sounds painful … LOL 😀

           
  • Patrick writes:
    January 24th, 20083:42 pmat

    There was a nude bicyclist who cruised around my dorm floor when I was a freshman.

    I am scarred from the memory. Haven’t been on a bike since then… though those two things likely aren’t related. 😀

           
  • Maria writes:
    January 24th, 200810:11 pmat

    Sonja,
    You made this flat-lander laugh! Most of those items would also be true of Maine, where I spent a fair number of mud and construction seasons. Even in Mass. we had to wear parkas under our Halloween costumes. The thing I really miss, though, is the local newspaper, with the column about who received a phone call from a nephew in Florida, who had so-and-so over for dinner last Thursday, etc.

           
  • Sonja writes:
    January 24th, 200810:20 pmat

    @Patrick … yeah … that would scar(e) me too 😉 I’m havin’ a hard time wrapping my brain around the combination of naked and bicycle seat.

    @Maria … you grew up in Massachusetts??!! Where? My grandparents were in W. Springfield and I spent a lot of summers there. My aunt lives outside of Boston. I have lots of happy memories of Mass … oh yeah, and I was born there too! So I’m also technically a flat-lander as my husband loves to remind me 😀

           
  • Pistol Pete writes:
    January 25th, 20086:20 pmat

    Good stuff. Here on Long Island, people panic when there is an inch of snow or a forecast below 20 degrees. You come from much more sturdy stock.

           
  • kievasfargo writes:
    January 25th, 20089:46 pmat

    This is great…could also apply to Wisconsin :)

           


»  Substance:WordPress   »  Style:Ahren Ahimsa