A Line in the Sand
December 3rd, 2007 by Sonja

I don’t like drawing those much.  But sometimes ya jus’ gotta.  I did that today with my son.  He asked me a question and I felt my stomach flop over in revulsion.  So I drew a line.  I made a boundary and set a new tradition.

He’s not happy with it.  But I suspect he will live.  I hope it will give us fodder for some conversation over time.

At the very least he will learn never to ask a question that you do not want the answer to.

He asked me if he could play a war game on the computer.  I do not like war games at any time.  At best I merely tolerate knowing that he plays them because he’s a boy and he loves them.  Someday he will have to make his own decisions about peace, violence, love and war.  I cannot make those decisions for him.  Neither can I just remove all of those influences from him now, because that will just make them more tantalizing and appealing … it will also make him more bitter and resentful of me.  So he plays them with some regularity.

He asked me this morning, morning number 2 of Advent, if he could play a war game on the computer.  I felt my stomach turn over.  It wanted to heave.  My brain flashed with pictures of guns, cannons, death, mayhem and madness.  I looked at him for a minute and said, No.  No, you may not play war games on the computer during Advent.  This is a time when we consider the coming of peace.  So … no war.

So, he will have a 25-ish day fast from war games.  I guess I’m going to think about how I will consider the coming of peace in my life in tangible ways too.

Sometimes a line in the sand cuts in more than one direction.


7 Responses  
  • Eric G. writes:
    December 3rd, 20075:06 pmat

    Sonja,

    I don’t know how old your son is. Mine is almost 11. He is such a walking dichotomy right now. On one hand, his is a war hating, peace loving activist. On the other, he loves to play with his G.I. Joe collection. How can this be? Chalk it up to age, I guess.

    By the way, I’m with you. Some times those lines just have to be drawn…

    Until,

    Eric

           
  • Lori writes:
    December 3rd, 20077:41 pmat

    Sonja, I read your blog on an unregular bases, and have never commented, but I can’t resist. I have 2 boys who made weapons out of their sandwiches before they could put a full sentence together. I also have a daughter and am always amazed at how differently they are wired. You are causing me to think what lines I need to draw in the sand for myself as well as my kids during this wonderful season of peace. Good food for thought. thanks for sharing;-)

           
  • Peggy writes:
    December 4th, 200712:19 amat

    Well, this mother of three boys (6, 9, 12) feels like a field commander most of the time…trying to keep the friendly fire down to flesh wounds…the rest of the time I am triage nurse!

    No…the rest of the time, when I’m not binding up physical wounds, I’m trying not to sound like a shrew or a harpie so that my children don’t remember their mother as always yelling and always having a stern look. Sigh….

    My friends tell me that boys are basically on auto-destruct for the first 12 years…so I’m hoping for a bit of relief starting to kick in. And I am remembering that hope is purple….

    Blessings.

           
  • LightMom writes:
    December 4th, 20078:23 amat

    He asked….that means 1.) he knows how you feel and probably 2.) he knew the answer!
    You’re ahead of the curve, not to worry!

           
  • Patrick writes:
    December 4th, 20079:26 amat

    “When William Penn was convinced of the principles of Friends, and became a frequent attendant at their meetings, he did not immediately relinquish his gay apparel; it is even said that he wore a sword, as was then customary among men of rank and fashion . Being one day in company with George Fox, he asked his advice concerning it, saying that he might, perhaps, appear singular among Friends, but his sword had once been the means of saving his life without injuring his antagonist, and moreover, that Christ has said, “he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one.” George Fox answered, “I advise thee to wear it as long as thou canst.” Not long after this they met again, when William had no sword, and George said to him, “William, where is t hy sword?” “Oh!” said he, I have taken thy advice; I wore it as long as I could.” This anecdote, derived from reliable tradition,* seems to be characteristic of the men and the times. It shows that the primitive Friends preferred that their proselytes should be led by the principle of divine truth in their own minds, rather than follow the opinions of others without sufficient evidence.

    “It must have been .manifest to George Fox that his young friend, while expressing his uneasiness about the sword, was under the influence of religious impressions that would, if attended to, lead him, not only into purity of life, but likewise into that simplicity of apparel which becomes the disciples of a self-denying Saviour.”

           
  • Peggy writes:
    December 4th, 20074:07 pmat

    Thank you, Patrick, for that bit of hope! Amen, indeed, may it prove true with all our little warriors!

           
  • Paul writes:
    December 5th, 20071:23 pmat

    as i always say, peace on earth, death to killer alien scum 😉

           


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