I’m exhausted! Up at 5:30 both mornings. Out the door by 7 to go to the first hockey games of the season. LightHusband was out the door even earlier with LightBoy to his practices. The first game was at our home rink on Saturday. The second game was an hour and a half away in Maryland on Sunday. LightGirl scored her first goal on Sunday. Here is the celebration:

As you might imagine, this proud mama whooped it up in the stands for a solid minute. She played a good game yesterday. Strong and focused. All the girls did. They showed up with their heads in the game. It is so amazing to watch these girls play this game and do a good job. I love it. I love watching them be strong, think hard, and overcome places where they were weak previously. I love watching them grow. It makes the early morning sacrifices pale in comparison.

Up for conversation between LightGirl and I during our journey … “Mom, do you think that the girls program at our rink takes second place to the boys program?” Of course, she asked this question during the part of our journey where I had to pay attention to directions. But. I had to answer in the affirmative. Yes, honey it does take a back seat. But there are several reasons for that. First of all it’s a young program. It’s still building and growing. Second. Like it or not, hockey is still primarily a boys sport and girls aren’t as welcome as we’d like them to be. It’s changing, but it’s slow. We talked about how much she likes having Coach Wonderwoman (the only woman coach in our club) as her coach, and the only woman coach we face. We also talked about how Coach Wonderwoman *is* a woman in a man’s club and that makes it hard for her. That alot of people become uncomfortable when women take on roles that are perceived as “men’s” roles. She wanted to know why. I wish I could tell her.

I repeated the bones of this conversation to some of the moms I sit with in the stands. We are of an age together. We talked about the failure of feminism in this country. That we pay lip service to women being equal, but really we are not. There are few women leaders for any of us to look up to. The women that are out in front are set up to fail (Hilary Clinton and Condoleeza Rice being the two I can think of off the top of my head). They are also forced to play by the men’s rules and thus look harsh and ugly. Bitchy. We don’t like women leaders because they are not feminine. The manner in which women lead is entirely different from the manner in which men lead. However, women in leadership are not allowed to fully engage in that leadership style. They are forced to play by male rules in order to gain power. There is little parity.

I wonder how change will come about? What will it take? I hope it is the small things like playing hockey and learning to lead each other by their own standards rather than those of males are the things that will help bring the genders together. I don’t think we need to replace the male with the female … but that we need to enhance the male with the female. That it takes both to bring about good decisions and right leadership. Someday. Someday soon.