Longing
June 9th, 2007 by Sonja

My daughter, known here as LightGirl, is amazingly perceptive about other people.  She is especially perceptive about me.  She picks up on my cues when I think I have them deeply hidden.  And they are hidden … from most people.  But she can see them.  She’ll look me straight in the eye and ask a quiet question that cuts straight to the bone.  It never hurts, but it’s clean.

Yesterday, she walked in and asked, apropos of nothing, “Mom, are we ever going to start going to church again?”  She looked a bit wistful.  I asked if she had a particular church in mind.  No.  I asked if she missed church.  Not really.  “But,” she said, “I really think you miss it a lot.”

We got interrupted at that point.  But I started thinking.  Do I miss church?  What do I miss?  We haven’t attended a Sunday worship service since early March.  What is church?

I think the thing I long for the most is communion or Eucharist.  I know that there’s an Episcopal church right up the street that I could attend tomorrow and take Eucharist there.  But that’s not the same.  That’s akin to prostitution.  I want to serve and be served the body and bread amongst a circle of community.  Where the liturgy calls down Spirit among us and we wait upon It.  I’m inherently greedy … and I want communion of heart and soul with God and with my friends.  I want it all.  That’s what I long for.


5 Responses  
  • lyn writes:
    June 9th, 20078:20 amat

    Do you take communion at home as a family? I know it’s not the same as receiving it as part of a group of people, but sometimes we have special moments at home when Jonathan leads us through Matthew 26 and we take communion together – you don’t have to be a priest, as some denominiations insist, to give communion!

    Away from that, are there any communities – in the lines of emerging/missional – you are aware of that meet near you who you could think about joining as a family? If not, have you thought about starting something at your home? It doesn’t have to be a church plant or anything, or even meet on a Sunday. Where we used to live we met with a group of friends as and when, and discussed life, faith, politics etc! We used to do this whilst the kids were running around, whilst eating nacho chips etc! Are there some christian friends you have that would be up to doing this? You don’t even have to lable it as church or a home group or anything like that. It’s just a bunch of friends coming together, supporting one another and being community.

    Sorry if I’ve rambled a little or gone way off track!
    There are so many people I’ve come across through blogs and I think “wow, I’d love to get together with you”. It’s a shame we can’t all meet up at one destination and hang out! Anyway, you are one of those people who I’d love to hang out with! Bless you in your search.

           
  • Erin writes:
    June 9th, 20079:54 amat

    I agree with Lyn on all counts.

    I’d plant a community with you but I think we’d have trouble with the time difference, lol.

    We have toyed with the idea of starting something informal here in the neighborhood, but haven’t felt ready yet.

           
  • Paul writes:
    June 11th, 20075:54 amat

    thanks sonja, it’s taken me a whole yr to really start re-connecting with why go to church and I never stopped going. Having a different rhythm and a place to have all the other rhythms of my heart exposed and undermined is for me such a wonderful thing – doing that as a community, helping each other but also being helped by God. Communion is such an powerful reminder of the christian call to follow christ to and through the cross, both the glory and the suffering, the mediaiton and the immediacy…

           
  • doug writes:
    June 11th, 200711:41 amat

    and a child shall lead them (although lightgirl is really becoming a light-young-lady)… still it is definitely (or it seems like) God is calling… it may be time to pursue a place where you can be, belong, become… whether it is something you begin or something you join… it may be time, huh?

           
  • kievasfargo writes:
    June 11th, 200710:48 pmat

    I hope you find a new beginning.

    BTW, I’ve tagged you over at my blog!

           


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