On Being All Things to All People
December 10th, 2005 by aBhantiarna Solas

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother .

2. He liked Gospel.

3. He couldn’t get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father’s business.

2. He lived at home until he was 33.

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands.

2. He had wine with His meals.

3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair.

2. He walked around barefoot all the time.

3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian

1. He was at peace with nature.

2. He ate a lot of fish.

3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments the Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all – 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.

3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

And everybody said,

AMEN!


5 Responses  
  • aime writes:
    December 10th, 20052:57 pmat

    I chanced upon your blog and this post. Hilarious! Here is another coming from an Italian girl:
    -Why was Jesus not born in Italy?
    Because he couldn’t find a virgin or three wise men anywhere!
    😉

    Enjoyed your blog!

  • Liz writes:
    December 11th, 200512:33 amat

    Oh, now that’s a killer! I love it :)

  • Becky writes:
    December 12th, 200511:39 amat

    Love it! :) Hee hee!

  • kate writes:
    December 12th, 200512:59 pmat

    Nice!

  • kate writes:
    December 12th, 20051:00 pmat

    This post has been removed by the author.


»  Substance:WordPress   »  Style:Ahren Ahimsa