As I may have mentioned here before, my family gathered together this weekend. We usually do this once a year. We try anyway. It almost didn’t happen this year because of sundry different events in all of our lives. It wouldn’t have been the end of the universe, but we would have been sad. We don’t make a huge deal of this gathering, but we do attempt it. It’s important to each of “us kids,” for different reasons I suspect. But important nonetheless.

My brothers amaze me. Both of them and in different ways. My youngest brother was such a goof growing up that I never really could imagine him as an adult. But he’s an amazing adult … yet he’s never quite lost his sense of wonder and silliness that make him so much fun to be around. He’s the one who simply decided he wanted to learn to sail. So he took the little sunfish out into a 12 mile an hour wind and made the boat go. It went backwards at first … for quite a ways. Then he made it go forwards for a long ways. Then he got it turned around and came back … after he tipped over a few times. But he did it. I’ve wanted to sail my whole life, but I doubt I’ll ever have that kind of courage. He never sits still … and when he does, he falls asleep. Just like he did when he was a kid. He runs a tent rental and party goods company in western Massachusetts. But he’s not content with that. He’s also building temporary structures all over the country. Oh … and he’s making new structures for the Red Cross to use instead of tents for the next hurricane season. They are like small houses and they’re beautiful. So much better than tents and can be stored in cargo crates like they put on 18 wheelers to be trucked to where-ever at a moments notice.

My other brother already lived one life as a vice president for a blood products and testing company. He made enough money to take a year off and travel around the world. When he came back he got married and now he’s running and building the jam company that my parents started. Oh … yeah … and he’s refinishing a house while raising his family. This involved taking off the roof of the house to add another floor to it. Literally … raising the roof!

Now both of my brothers could not do what they do without the help of their wonderful wives. They are both married to strong women who support and push them to greater things than they could do on their own. You know … the sum is greater than the parts, yadda, yadda … They are fortunate to have married well. I am fortunate to have gained sisters-in-law who fit into our family so well. I am fortunate too because we have such a grand and diverse group of nieces and nephews.

Here’s a picture from my favorite time this weekend … it was after dinner on Saturday night when LightMom, LightGirl, my oldest niece and I all did the dishes together. I washed, the girls dried, and LightMom did the organizing of dirty dishes … she kept the goods flowing. We had some great conversation … some of it was light, some heavy. But it was all good. The girls whined at first, but then we got to talking and they pitched in.

We had a really great time and the dishes flew. The time did too. LightMom observed, when all was said and done, “You know, one of the worst inventions has been the dishwasher. It took away the talking time.” I agreed with her. There is something about sharing a task that allows people the freedom to talk in ways that they don’t otherwise do. In particular, I treasured that evening because my niece isn’t always terribly open. But she was with a dish towel in her hand. In that room with her grandmother and her aunt and her cousin … and a task to perform, she felt safe enough to talk a little about the things that were on her mind. They weren’t terribly big or important … but the fact that she finally opened the door a crack was a treasure to me. It reminded me of the value of working together and doing small things together.

Those are the things that build a relationship and give it a foundation. Some how it’s not the fun, but the work that brings us together and keeps us there. I wonder why that is?

Erin (Decompressing Faith) and Lynn (Beyond 4 Walls) have organized a Synchroblog for today about prayer. Lynn asked a question on Emerging Women about how our prayer life has changed or emerged as our faith has morphed and changed. This lead to a conversation and then an invitation and now we’re all writing about how our prayer life.

I will lead with a confession. My prayer life stinks. I have perfected the language of the appearance of holiness in this regard, but the reality is … I suck. I am terrible at maintaining relationships with flesh and blood people so how can I maintain a relationship with an ephemeral God?

Of all the parts of my faith life my prayer life is the most shriveled. I am not constant. I cannot find quiet space. I have lots of excuses for this. I homeschool. My husband works from home. There is no quiet time or space ever in my life (unless I wake up at some unGodly hour). But those are excuses. The truth is … I find excuses. I find rationale. This has always been the case for all of my life. That is what I learned in the evangelical church in which I “grew up;” in which I spent the first 14 years of my faith life.

I learned how to pray spontaneous prayers. I learned about having quiet time. I learned that both are requirements for a thriving life of faith in a Christian community. I had neither. I still have neither. My prayer life is shriveled and barren. I do not pray in public unless the Holy Spirit takes over and gives me words that I must speak.

But …

There are some bright spots on the horizon.

Since leaving the evangelical church I have found some old and different ways of praying that have helped. My favorite is the Lord’s Prayer. Some days I just say that to myself at various times throughout the day. There are days when that is all I have. Some days even that is in tatters and I just have pieces of it.

I’ve discovered that liturgy is a balm for me. I know that this is not true for everyone. But for me repetitive prayers become healing and allow God to speak into my life in ways that I have not found before. My favorite book for these is the Celtic Book of Daily Prayer. When I had my nervous breakdown in Jan. 2006 I asked my family to engage in praying the hours with me. That became a lifeline for me. I loved those prayers every day. My family … not so much. I would love to begin having morning and evening prayers again several times a week. I find that communal/familial engagement is helpful for me.

The other thing that has become helpful for me is to engage with God during the times when my hands are busy but my mind is not. These are times like when I’m sewing, or cleaning or taking a shower. When I’m involved in a repetitive task that doesn’t take any thought (or very little) I find myself engaging in thought prayer and being able to listen/meditate as well. I sometimes have a snippet of a liturgical prayer or song that repeats while I’m thinking or listening. Sometimes I’m having an active conversation. Sometimes I cry out.

So, my prayer life looks nothing like what I was taught and I think it could be better. But … for right now, it’s what it is. I’ll leave you with my favorite prayer from the Northumbrian Community:

Lord, You have always given
bread for the coming day;
and though I am poor,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always given
strength for the coming day;
and though we are weak,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always given
peace for the coming day;
and though of anxious heart,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always kept
me safe in trials;
and now, tried as we are,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always marked
the road for the coming day;
and though it may be hidden,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always lightened
this darkness of mine;
and though the night is here,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always spoken
when time was ripe;
and though you be silent now,
today I believe.

Please visit these other “How Do You Pray” Synchroblog participants.
Cindy Bryan Teach Me to Pray…Again?
Lyn Hallewell God, Prayer and Me
Erin Word Prayer=Sex with God
Rick Meigs Prayer Helps that Get Me Deeper
Alan Knox Pray without Ceasing
Julie Clawson Prayer Synchroblog
Heather Synchroblog Prayer
Alex (Heather’s Husband) Prayer Synchroblog II
Lydia How Do You Pray
Che Vachon My Thoughts…
Paul Mayers Praying and Learning to Pray Again
Sonja Andrews The Appearance of Holiness
Jon Peres How Do I Pray?
Paul Walker One Congregation Experiments with Emerging Prayer
Susan Barnes Synchroblog: How Do You Pray?
Brother Maynard Fear Not the Silence
Nate Peres How Do I Pray?
Barry Taylor Synchroblog:How Do You Pray?
Emerging Grace Clearance Sale on Intercession Books
Jim Lehmer Synchroblog – How Do You Pray?
Lew A How Do You Pray? – Synchroblog
Jon Hallewell When I’m Spoken To
Deb Prayer Synchroblog
Barb Prayer without Throwing Things
Patti Blount How Do I Pray
Doug Jones How I Pray
Glenn Hagar Prayer Phases
Pam Hogeweide The Art of Blue Tape Spirituality
Mary How Do I Pray?
Rhonda Mitchell Prayer SynchroBlog
John Smulo Praying Naturally
Rachel Warwick How Do You Pray?
Barbara Legere How to Not Pray
Jonathan Brink Posture – Sitting With My Daddy
Andy How Do I Pray
Cynthia Clack How Do I Pray
Makeesha Fisher The Mystery of Prayer
Joy Synchroblog:Prayer

It’s a good thing no one turned away Jewish refugees in 1930’s when they desperately needed places to go to get away from the horrors of Nazi Germany.

Or maybe that’s why Israel feels justified in turning away refugees now … because people did it to them.  One might imagine that they would have empathy for the horrors of war and genocide and offer refuge.

But apparently not.

We have a dog. His name is Sam; Samuel Allen when he’s in trouble. He was named after the father of Ethan Allen … not the furniture company. The Vermont Revolutionary War hero. Thank you. Sam is a golden retriever. He is the third golden we’ve had. Our first was named Ethan (Allen), our second was named Zimri Allen (Ethan’s brother). Now we have Sam. Ethan Allen’s wife was named Fanny. LightHusband wants to get a female bassett hound and name her Fanny. I think that might make her neurotic.

When we got Zimri, we stumbled across a dog training book that became invaluable to us. It was written by a group of monks in upstate New York … the monks of New Skete: How To Be Your Dog’s Best Friend. Their theories of dog training are driven by dog psychiatry, an understanding of how dogs think and behave, what drives them and why they do the things they do. Once we understood that a primary driving force behind dog behavior is “the pack” and his place in the pack, we were able to train our dogs much more easily. Based on this, we learned that a disciplinary tool that can be used very effectively with dogs is exclusion. If you separate a dog from the pack and exclude him, he knows very quickly that he is being punished. So, for instance, unless a dog is very accustomed to life in a crate if you suddenly begin to put him in one overnight when he is used to sleeping in your bedroom, he will think he is being excluded from the pack cave (bedroom) and is being punished for something.

Sometime later we had children. Children are messy and difficult. But I observed to LightHusband one day that the methods that one uses on small children are not all that different than those one uses on a dog. That may sound distasteful. However, you must speak clearly, use simple one or two word phrases, don’t string together commands, etc. Now … obviously, children outgrow this sort of training at about age 3 or earlier. But one of the primary disciplinary tools that we continue to use, even now, is separation from the pack. After all … that’s what a grounding is. As in, “You’re grounded.” The child (now a teen) can’t have any connection with his/her pack (other teens) for the specified period of time. Or perhaps the parents merely seek to control the means of access by taking away a cell phone or phone privileges or something of that nature. In some manner, the teen is now excluded from the pack as a means of punishment.

We use exclusion from activities all the time in the adult world as a means of control. I received an e-mail from the hockey club. If dues are not up to date, players would be removed from practice … excluded from the team until the dues are caught up. It’s distasteful but considered the norm. People are cut from the team if they don’t measure up; can’t behave, etc. Think about it … how do things work in an office? There are teams and people are included on them based upon performance, ability to be a “team player,” etc. Or they are excluded … punished.

Those are the overt methods of using exclusion to gain acceptable behavior from people. What about the ways in which we use subversive methods of exclusion to “get someone to behave?” What do we do then? We use body language. We use facial expression. We use tone of voice. But we humans are just like dogs. We use pack behavior to let others know when they have made a misstep and need to get themselves back in line.

On the flip side, we use inclusion to reward people for good behavior. We invite them to parties and dinners and coffee. We phone them. We e-mail them. We “include” them in our social circles. We do this as long as they meet whatever standards we might have (and we all have them) for behavior. If people ever become threatening in any way, we begin to exclude them. Sometimes this is right and necessary. But what about when we just sort of don’t like what they’re doing, or they’re dirtier than we are? Or maybe they make us uncomfortable? What if they just speak more plainly than we are used to? Perhaps in their relationship the woman speaks more often than the man (or vice versa … whatever, it is something that is different than the group), then what?

Here’s the conundrum we are faced with. These problems are not officially problems. The behaviour is not out of bounds egregiously enough for the offender to be spoken to. Everyone simply hopes that s/he will notice that his or her behavior is not quite normal and they will straighten up and fly right. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes it doesn’t and people simply begin to drift away, thinking to themselves, “Yeah, So-and-so, I’m not so sure about him (or her).” The invites dry up and So-and-so begins to feel lonely. Sometimes someone will come along and kindly mention one or two things that s/he could do to help. Maybe things change, maybe they don’t. Often I think they do and suddenly So-and-so has discovered how to make friends and influence people.

Who is So-and-so? Why S/he is the new christian 1st Baptist just brought to Christ last week.

This is part of the August Synchroblog … the rest of the team’s thoughts may be found as follows:

Cobus van Wyngaard is contemplating Inclusivity within claims of heresy
Mike Bursell asks the question Inclusive or exclusive: you mean there’s a choice?”
Steve Hayes is blogging his thoughts “Christianity inclusive or exclusive?
It’s a family affair comes Jenelle D’Alessandro
John Smulo will be adding his thoughts
Erin Word share some thoughts on The Politics of love
Julie Clawson couldn’t resist adding her thoughts
As is Sam Norton.
Mike Bursell,muses on yet another synchro topic
Questions abound with David Fisher
And Sally shares her thoughts here

Til next month then

I’m home now and more comfortable.  But I think there’s a quite a road ahead of me.  I haven’t eaten anything since Thursday and have no desire to.  The current thinking is that I have sludgy gall bladder … yes, that’s as gross as it sounds.

If you think of it, though, pray for my room mate.  She was hit riding her bicycle on Friday.  The woman who hit her stayed with her long enough to call 9-1-1 and then left the scene.  Roommate broke her ankle and must keep weight off it for a month.  This is complicated by her left arm being so torn up she could see her bone through the laceration.  She was also discharged today and seems to have a good support system here.  But do say a prayer or two for her when you think of it.

I am happy to be home and in my own digs again.  That helps more than anything else.  Thank you all for your wonderful well-wishes.  Lighthusband kept printing them out and bringing them to me at the hospital.

Yes, Erin, they did give me Dilaudid and sent me home with some as well.  That is some great stuff and causes some very realistic dreams!  On the other hand, it’s likely to be a while before I’m able to do any wonderful writing or thinking here.  Oh well …

It all began with a confession of sorts. Now I’ve witnessed some confessions before. The really heartfelt ones bring all witnesses to their knees. I saw one last night on (of all places) Law & Order – Criminal Intent. In this particular episode a nun confessed her part in a vicious hate crime that had taken place seventeen years earlier. She had spent the intervening years working out her penance in the convent; getting and keeping girls off the mean streets of NYC. But she had willingly and with malice helped to beat a black teen senseless and it had left him in a near vegetative state for years. He was about to die as a result of his wounds. I doubt I will ever be enough of a writer to describe for you the heart that went into her confession. I’ve seen it several times now and it brings me to tears each time.

It was a confession. A verbal description of the wrong done. It was complete with details and full disclosure of the depravity of the moment. It also included an understanding of wrong and growth in grace. The last thing that it included was a full comprehension that no matter how much grace, mercy or forgiveness God may give, there are still lasting consequences for ill behavior in the kingdom of men. The nun understood that giving her confession in the presence of police officers and a district attorney meant that it was “on the record.” The district attorney told her that it would be sealed and in the event of the victim’s death, homicide charges would be filed against her and the men who had committed the hate crime. She squared her shoulders, a weight seemed to lift from her and she looked him in the eye, “I’ll be there this time. But now I must tend to my girls.”

There has been a discussion carrying on in other realms of the blogosphere about another confession by Gary Smalley that occurred in the near past. Apparently, he did a lot of his writing while his heart wasn’t in it. But … he’s all better now. Okay. So I’m not really certain what’s so sinful about that. Writing was his job. A lot of people do their job when their heart isn’t in it. Perhaps what he really needs is a new job. But that’s not the point of this post. I’m going to summarize by quoting from Brother Maynard, because it gets me where I want to go most quickly and it gives the links most succinctly and then I can get on with my point without boring you, my dear reader, to tears:

Brant Hansen opines on the recovery of Gary Smalley, noting how Gary went from all-good to was-bad-but-now-all-good without any real mention of what came between … the “bad” part. The IMonk takes note and adds on about the cult of Christian celebrity, somewhat tongue-in-cheek at points: “If you believe the entire Christian celebrity culture is a dangerous and polluted waste of mind, heart and money, you must just want to be difficult.” Put me down for just wanting to be difficult.

Just tuned in? At issue is the way in which the Christian culture makes celebrities of people, and the way that they ignore stories of people who struggle, waiting for them to “get better” and come back with a great recovery story. Everyone loves a good recovery story … but nobody wants to hear about sin before it’s become a thing of the past.

Quick primer:

I struggled.

good.

I’m struggling.

not good.

Basically, sin isn’t an acceptable subject unless you’ve gotten over it. We want to hear about current victories over past sin, not current struggles with present sin. If you’re still sinning, go away and come back when you’ve gotten over it and have your life back together.

That’s from Bro. M’s “Come Back When You Have An “After” Story, Okay?” At some point that is a must read as well as the comment thread (in which you will see me confess to using colorful language … but shhhh … it’s a secret 😉 )

I’ve been mulling this over. This idea of forgiveness and grace and mercy and judgement. Confession and sin. How does it all work together? How do we mete it out here in the corporal world? Which is vastly different from how God metes it all out and can the two be the same? Are we humans indeed at all capable of being forgiving on that level? What kind of vulnerability does it require on the part of the confessee and the confessor?

I’m wondering about the issues that we consider “sin” … what are they? Most often they are the things that hurt one another. There are the various lists in the Bible … the big 10, and the issues laid out by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. Interestingly, Jesus focuses on ideas and words, and I harken back to that childhood nursery rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” This called out to dull the effect of name-calling and bullying in the schoolyard. We all grow up and begin to understand that words can hurt … they cut deeper than any knife and the pain can last a lifetime. I think this is what Jesus is speaking to in his instructions to the adulterer and murder in the Sermon on the Mount … just thinking about a woman in lust is leaving your wife and simply thinking about a person less than you is committing murder. Think deeply about those two concepts for a moment. Stop right here and do that. If you keep reading, I’ll walk you through it. If you are so certain that another person is alien enough to be called a fool, then they are “other” enough to be killed and you may as well have committed the act itself. Once you have degraded another person to the level of fool in your mind, you have become capable of killing them. That is the logic of Jesus. Now think about how we hear the likes of Hitler, Stalin and other military leaders speak of the “enemy” … the logic of Jesus makes eminent sense.

So, why do we have such a problem with the in-between times? Why don’t we want to walk with the hurting? We all love a great freedom story, but we don’t like the underground railroad. We don’t want to walk the thousand miles with the slaves to freedom, we just want to get there … as if beamed up by Scotty on the USS Enterprise. No mis-steps in between, no muddy swamps, no hard cold forest floors slept in, no musty moldy hay ricks, no cramped attic spaces, no fear, no sweat, no losing our way because the night sky is lost in clouds, no getting caught by slave catchers … nope none of that for us … just nice and clean, “Beam me up Scotty, I’m done with that sin now, … God gave me a miracle.”

I have a theory about that … beam me up is easy. It’s immediate gratification. Our culture is famous for that. We get to eat dessert first. Our family visits to Vermont every summer from Virginia. Every summer I wish for a transporter room. But I think I wouldn’t appreciate camp nearly as much without the ten hour drive to get there … as painful as it is. Beyond the immediate gratification though lies another deeper issue. And that is that if we acknowledge to another that they struggle with an issue, we must acknowledge to ourselves that we struggle. Then we must acknowledge to others that we struggle. We must let down the facade that all is not right in our perfect world.

To step a bit further down this spiral staircase we must then acknowledge that we cannot understand another’s pain. Nor can we comprehend the grace and mercy they have extended to us. Allow me to explain. In any relationship there comes a time when the two (or more) parties come to harm. Whether it is through malice or obtuseness it matters not. There may or may not be apologies or confessions and extensions of grace and forgiveness. Over time the hurt builds on both sides. In a Jesus-following relationship there may be accusations made that include something along the lines of, “Don’t worry about the mote in my eye, worry about the log in yours.” Oh. Well. Both (or more) parties begin to feel quite put upon. Someone might say, “Can’t you extend any grace?” And it is in this instance we can see that both (or more) parties have extended quite a bit of grace and forgiveness, but none can see the totality of it. They can see the grace and mercy they have each extended, but not what has been given to them. Nor can can any of the parties understand the pain that they have all inflicted on one another, they can only comprehend their own pain.

That long dark walk on the underground railroad from slavery to freedom must be done in community. There are stops on the way. There are conductors who point out the safe havens for rest and the places which must be avoided because the hounds had been loosed. There are rare instances when Scotty (God) might beam us up, but I think S/He means for us to walk the road together, learning to live in the messy existence when it’s the journey that counts. That we learn, slowly and surely who to trust on our walk to freedom. Who can be the conductors and who are the slave catchers. Who is watching for that everpresent North Star calling out to us for freedom.

… and what am I learning lately.

This is a new synchroblog co-ordinated by Glenn Hager at Re-dreaming the Dream. I learned about it from Erin. The theme resonates with a lot of the thinking I’ve been doing lately, so I thought I’d participate.

So here’s my list … in no particular order other than the order in which I thought of them.

– I learned that women are second class citizens in God’s economy.

– I learned that the Bible can be used like statistics … to prove anything that the user wants it to prove. It’s not a beacon of love; it’s a weapon to bludgeon people with.

– I learned that faith and religion are interchangeable.

– I learned that Jesus is a Republican and I’d better be too or my salvation would be null and void. I also learned that Jesus is a free-market capitalist who looked down on welfare cheats because they leached off the system.

– I learned that America is now God’s promised land and we are God’s new people.

– I learned that church is just like any other social group … only it’s rules are more strict and they’ll exclude you in a flash if you break them.

What I’m learning lately … is there is no second-class … or first-class … in God’s economy. We are all on equal footing, equal creations in the eyes of the Creator. There is no separate but equal to Her. There is just, is. We just are. We are just created. Different, yes. But that does not mean that some get to do some things and others not … that does not mean that all can sin equally but that all cannot serve equally. We are indeed equal … equally loved, equally serving, equally gifted. Anything else is a lie.

I cannot discern how to use the Bible as anything other than a love letter to me. I rarely use it in conversation anymore. There are bits and pieces that are meaningful to me and I might quote those, as people quote poetry or other pieces of literature that are meaningful. But using proof texts and finding pieces that “prove” my point in a legal argument seems to miss the mark of God’s intent with his Word to us.

I’m losing my religion and keeping my faith … in large part because it seems that people in charge of the church lied. They are way more interested in keeping their own patch of turf than in understanding God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit and passing the understanding on.

Well … Jesus and politics or economics just stands on it’s own. He pretty much spoke out against the powers of his age and I’m certain he’d speak out against Republicans AND Democrats now.

God only has one promised land and promised people. Israel. Now. Here’s the kicker. He sent the Israelites out of the Promised Land around 2,000 years ago and He hasn’t brought them back. So a lot of the current troubles that are happening in the Middle East. Yeah. Those are man made. I could write a book … no, several books … on why the current Middle East troubles have nothing whatsoever to do with God bringing the Jews back to Israel and everything to do with men doing it. No, I’m not a conspiracy theorist or anything. It’s just that God was not in that. People were. So there will not be any peace or redemption or reconciliation. There will be war. And as for the US … we are not God’s promised land or promised people despite any songs we might sing or secret ambitions we might have. We’re just lucky. There but for the grace of God go us; we really ought to be a little more grateful, and a little less arrogant.

I learned in the Bible that church is supposed to be Christ’s Bride, His Body here on earth. I learned in church that it’s just another social group with strict social rules that need to be followed in order to be included. It’s part of the faith vs. religion thing. But all churches are social groups. All of them. In order to be part of one, you must follow the rules. The first rule is that they are not really Jesus followers. That’s only part of the show. If you really want to be a Jesus follower, you’d do best to leave the church and do that on your own time. The church is too busy with their own parties … err ministries … to bother with the things that Jesus talks about. Above all … don’t ever ask anyone to talk to God about what they’re doing. Don’t ever suggest that anyone in leadership pray to God about their participation in an issue. Don’t ever suggest that following Jesus might mean stopping and listening sometimes. Don’t think outside the box. Don’t ask questions. Don’t quibble with leaders. Don’t be free. I’m learning that on my own it’s just possible that I might be able to hear God again. Maybe. I hope so. I’ve been missing him.

UPDATE (Aug 5):

Here’s a list of all the folks who participated in this synchroblog … they’ve got a lot of great things to say, but make sure you read Glen’s Summary here … it’s really, really good:

Glenn @ Re-dreaming the Dream: Synchroblog (Introduction)

Erin @ Decompressing Faith: Think Of It As “Agapeology.”

Alan @ The Assembling of the Church: Here I Am To Worship.

Heather @ A Deconstructed Christian: 15 Things I Learned From and Another 15 I Am Learning Lately

Jim @ Lord, I Believe; Help My Unbelief : Some Ecclesiastical Paradoxes

Lew @ The Pursuit: It’s A Grace vs. Works Thing

Lyn @ Beyond the 4 Walls: Learning To be “Proper”

Paul @ One For The Road : A Gracious Voice

Benjamin @ Justice and Compassion: Pithy and Provocative

Julie @ Onehandclapping: Faith, Certainty, and Tom Cruise

Aaron @ Regenerate: Hope

Monte @ Monte Asbury’s Blog: Jesus Doesn’t Matter Much

Rachael @ Justice and Compassion Rachael Stanton

Glenn @ Re-dreaming the Dream: Unsaid Communication

Glenn @ Re-dreaming the Dream: Reflections About Refugees (Summary Reflection)

That was how an amateur photographer described the scene at the collapse of the bridge over the Mississipi River yesterday.

It took me almost 24 hours to be able to read the coverage of the event.  I have not been able to look at photos.  It is my worst, most horrible nightmare come true.  I have been afraid of bridges since I was a little girl and had a nightmare of a bridge collapsing under our car as we crossed it.  I have to talk myself over bridges using my out loud voice when I’m driving if they are large and of consequence.  I cannot imagine the devastation and fear and terror that people must have encountered on that bridge yesterday.  I can only pray that the Holy Spirit enveloped them with peace.

This morning, Michael Spencer, of iMonk, has a beautiful post about the bridge collapse and the proper response of Jesus followers.  His comments are closed but I wanted to thank him for his wonderful direction and thoughts on the matter.

I’ve read two books this month. Well … I’ve completed two books this month. One was HP and the Deathly Hallows and I’m re-reading parts of that and talking about it and absorbing it. What a fabulous book. As Julie Clawson says, it belongs on the shelf next to Middle Earth and Narnia. And all the conservative Christians out there tarring and feathering Rowling for magic and the occult, owe her a very large apology. If you want more than that, you’ll have to read the book. Or trust me.

The other other book I completed this month is titled, Organic Community: Creating a Place Where People Naturally Connect by Joseph R. Myers. I read it while on vacation in Vermont. I approached it sideways at first because I’m tempted to be very critical of the notion that one can artificially “create” a place where people can “naturally” connect. The notion seems disingenuous at worst and contrived at best. So, the kindest thing I can say about myself is that my mind was not terribly open as I opened the book. I did not approach this book expecting great things.

I was surprised.

It is a treasure of a little book. Myers writes in a very unassuming style and is very understated. In so doing he allows the reader plenty of time and space to imagine for themselves how they might use this information in their own lives. He gives them gift of place. Instead of giving the reader a paint-by-number kit at the end, throughout the book he points you to the brushes, paint pots and easel in the room and encourages you to pick them up yourself. It’s as if he said, “Here, all of us have been given this gift. Now you paint too. Create a painting that will bless your place.”

If I had a quibble with the author it would be that I think his thinking is perhaps too binary. He sets out his argument in terms of either/or. There is “master plan” thinking OR “organic order” thinking. One must be one OR the other and behavior falls into one category or the other. My feeling is that most behavior in human groups probably falls in a spectrum with master plan thinking on one end and organic order on the other. And behavior can be classified on that spectrum as being more or less in one direction or another. My guess is that if I were to meet him and have a cup of coffee with him, I would discover that he feels this way too, but expressed his views in this binary manner in order to make his point.

A secondary quibble, pointed out by Alan Hirsch in his review here, is that Myers does not specifically address missional issues. I’d agree with Alan, but for the fact that my guess is that Myers might say that missional issues are larger than this book. I think that people who engage in community within the organic order and a Christian viewpoint will also, organically, follow a missional lifestyle. It will be a part of who they are, rather than a part of their plan for living.

Myers defines “master plan” thinking as that which we see all around us everyday in the military, in business, in government. It is that zero-sum game which demands that we all compete for resources, power, time, etc., that we “learn the ropes,” that we paint-by-someone-else’s-numbers that will guarantee a successful outcome, that we measure success in numbers. He begins defining “organic order” thinking by defining an artist as “… someone who enables art to emerge from a canvas …” and then goes on to say this:

“Shaping an environment where people naturally connect is more like creating art than manufacturing a product. It marks a major shift: from programming a community (i.e., following a master plan) to using principals of organic order to develop an environment where community can emerge.” pp. 26-27 italics in the original

Perhaps my favorite principal in this book is the idea that organic may be equated to order. In this post-industrial, fully mechanical age we have a strong tendency to view those things that are organic and natural as being chaotic and out of control. Organic, natural things have a definite order and system to them. While that order is not always under our control, we may be able to embrace it and dance with it to live a healthy life. So I was very grateful to read a book that encouraged us to consider that organic and order are not mutually exclusive terms.

Scot McKnight did a review on Jesus Creed last month and summarized the two models nicely as follows:

If you are seeking to avoid the Master Plan programming model and, instead, want to create an organic environment, this is a good book for lots of ideas. Here’s a summary of the Master Plan programming model and the Organic Order model:

Patterns: prescriptive vs. descriptive.
Participation: representative vs. individual.
Coordination: cooperation vs. collaboration.
Growth: bankruptcy vs. sustainability
Measurement: bottom line vs. story.
Power: positional vs. revolving.
Partners: accountability vs. edit-ability.
Language: noun-centric vs. verb-centric.
Resources: scarcity vs. abundancy.

Myers devoted a chapter to each subject above and does a fairly thorough job of comparing and contrasting with examples the differences in each. He draws on from many different disciplines and across many fields of study for his examples. He also draws on his direct personal experience with the company that he and his wife started some years ago. It is fairly successful even by so-called master plan standards and is thriving. But they operate using organic order principals and it sounds like a wonderful place to work.

It struck me, as I read through the book, that I recently had the privilege of working in a group that operated with organic order principals for a short time. It was a joy to work in that group and we did some marvelous things. We had a difficult time explaining how we operated and I found myself wishing I’d had this book “back then” so I could have explained us better to those who were wondering how we managed to “get things done.”

For instance, I loved this definition of decision making (it’s from the chapter on participation):

People want their contribution to be part of the contribution of the entire group. They want to know that their individual participation will accumulated with all the other members’ contributions to provide something more robust than they could give by themselves. Is there some organic mechanism–a person or a descriptive system–that turns individuals’ thoughts and judgments into a collective thought, decision or action?

Finding the aggregate is the taking of everyone’s stories and using them to build a whole new story–one that makes sense to the whole group. This takes considerable wisdom. It allows groups to move forward. Finding the aggregate is not the same as reaching consensus. Consensus, when achieved, is little more than taking raw data and totaling it. Consensus, when not reached, translates to frustration and inaction.

Finding the aggregate … I loved reading that. It takes into account everyone in a group and mixes it up and creates a new story that is somehow larger than the sum of all the parts. Like when you’re cooking and you have to use 50 year old curry powder … or something. Or just cooking in general. The final product of any recipe is the aggregate of all the bits the cook has put in.

Then there was this from the chapter on power:

We concluded that power was not something that the three of us would possess just because we held the position of “owner.” We recognized that each of us would carry different roles and responsibilities, but these roles and responsibilities were not assigned because of position. Rather, they were matched to our strengths. No position anywhere in the company would hold power merely because of the post itself.

As our company has grown, “the project holds the power” has become one of our guiding phrases. When new employees are added, they are amazed at being given power by the project and that we, the owners, don’t stand in the way.

…

Does this mean that we are a “flat” organization, where everyone has the same degree of power at the same time? I’m not sure that a flat organization can truly exist and move foward. A project is always inviting a person to step forward and steward the power. And just as no one person holds positional power, neither do projects hold positional power. … Among people and among projects, the spirit is “revolving,” not “flat.”

As we discovered in my group, this requires both humility and trust on the part of the participants. It also requires buy in from everyone. But … if everyone will concede, leave their ego at the door and throw in with this, your group is then able to do remarkable things that no one would be able to do on their own … or even as a group with traditional positional power structures in place.

I think the finest chapter in the book is the chapter on Partners. Myers hits on the desire in the secular and faith cultures for holding each other accountable and shows how we so often miss the mark by driving people away instead of creating intimate atmospheres where vulnerability and encouragement are developed. He does this by developing the picture of accountants (accountability) vs. editors (edit-ability) and sums it up by saying this: “Accountants keep records. Editors wipe away errors while keeping the voice of the author.” (p. 140) Which would you want helping you follow Christ more closely? An accountant or an editor? Which kind of friend would you like helping you mirror Jesus more clearly … an accountant or an editor? Based on the scripture which tells us how he views our sin after Christ’s death and resurrection, which do we think God is?

In all, I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is engaging with other people in thinking of new ways of “doing” church. It is extremely helpful for for verbalizing some of the ideas that don’t have form yet. Or giving the right words to the things that are working, but perhaps you’re using the wrong words over and over again. Or maybe you just want to see a new way of doing things because the old ways just aren’t working anymore.

I got a joke in my inbox today from LightGirl … this is pretty funny.

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
Pastor said, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend said, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
My friend *whispered* back, “I’m in the secret service.”

I laughed out loud when I read this. I can see the scene perfectly in my mind’s eye. Pastor, proud of his church and wanting lots of people to come and receive the benefits of being in relationship with God, and a community of faith. He sees a great opportunity for this man who visits but twice a year and wants good things for him. The man, on the other hand, feels pressure, to behave in certain ways, befriend certain people, belong to a certain club. Two perspectives … same end.

What if God did have a secret service though? How would a run of the mill pastor respond to that? Would we regular humans be able to put enough of our ego aside to allow for people coming and going in our midst, with no apparent loyalty to one church or another? Can a person belong to more than one church? Can a man obey more than one master? Oh … hey … what’s that question doing in there?

I’ve been thinking about the concept of church and community lately. It started with with this quote from Deitrich Bonhoeffer that Hamo posted about a week ago about vision:

God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man [or woman] who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure. When his ideal picture is destroyed, he sees the community going to smash. So he becomes, first an accuser of his brethren, then an accuser of God, and finally the despairing accuser of himself.” (Life Together)

In turn Hamo found it here.

For the last, I don’t know, 10 years? 15 years? there has been a real focus in western Christianity on “community.” Having community. Live in community. Let’s fellowship. I hate that sentence. First of all “fellowship” is not a verb, it’s a noun. It’s not something you do, it’s something you have, something you gain out of entirely different actions that require a sense of responsibility on your part.

That said, there’s been a focus on community within the western Church. This has probably been a reaction to the increased sense of isolation that people feel living in the suburbs. It has also been in response to the clear calls throughout the Bible that God gives to his people to live together and live in community with Him. I think it’s a good thing. I think that being with people, and living amongst them allows us to see ourselves in a myriad of different ways. We can only see ourselves in clear view when we rub up against different folks.

Can the ideal or vision of community become an idol? Might that be what Bonhoeffer is talking about above? I think it can. I think there are many communities of faith where the community has become an idol and the sanctity and health of that entity must be preserved at the cost of any individuals therein. It’s difficult in this day and age to speak of idols. We think of bronze calves and graven images. Statues, with aboriginal dances going on around them … drums and tribal music. That’s idol worship, right? Not something we sophisticates need to worry about, need we?

Oh, but we must. We have our graven images … our Excel documents and Powerpoint slides. Whole congregations dance to the tunes of financial reports, the beats drummed out low and slow. We must have our building funds, our new programs, new sound board and equipment for the worship band. Those are the obvious idols of the modern, institutional church. What about simpler forms of church or community … are they at risk?

I think Bonhoeffer might say, yes. I think any time an institution or entity or vision is put first before God’s will we have created an idol. I think that an idol might be created in a community of 6 people meeting in a home church … if that home church is based upon one person’s vision at the expense of others and not God’s vision as expressed by all, then it has the potential to become an idol.

So … I’ve been thinking about how do we, simple humans, protect ourselves from ourselves. How do we stop ourselves from begging Aaron to cast a bronze calf for us? That’s the real problem isn’t it? It’s not that the priesthood (senior pastors, leaders, etc.) is calling us to worship these idols … although they sometimes are. It’s that we also ask for them. We beg our leaders for visions. Following the fire just isn’t satisfying enough.

Could it be that we need to change the dance? This isn’t, afterall, a waltz. We’re involved in rhumba. We’ve become too disengaged from one another … leaders and followers. Perhaps we need to be more intimate again. Perhaps we ought to stop making tiny idols of our leaders and allow them to have lives like ours.

What do you think … are we making idols of church and our leaders? How can we stop this silly business?