About a week ago I received an e-mail from my sister-in-law regarding global warming. This is not unusual. My nuclear and extended family has been attuned to environmental issues for as long as I can remember. When I was 12 my parents joined a group called Co-FEC. I don’t remember exactly what that stood for, but the upshot was that it was Citizens for a More Effective Electric Cooperative. Or something. Our electricity came to us via a co-op and that co-op needed an overhaul … needed to be more responsive to the people it served and needed to be more environmentally friendly.

We participated in Green Up Day every single year. This is the first Saturday in May (so it was my birthday on several occasions) and citizens fan out across the state of Vermont to clean up the roadsides of all the winter litter that fell out of the snow.

I don’t know if we were active in the campaign to bring back bottle returns ($.05 per bottle) but I’m certain my parents wanted to be. We certainly recycle everything possible. And always have. We recycled as a family before there were recycling centers. We used things until they wore out and then tried to use them for something else. Until there was nothing left but shreds. Plastic toboggans which were no longer useful for sliding became carriers for wood for our woodstoves, until there was nothing left of the bottoms. It pains me to throw so much stuff away.

Soooo … back to the e-mail. She challenged us, her family, to be thinking about ways we can live more gently on this earth. Here is the text of the e-mail (it’s dated Jan. 30):

This Friday a large report on global warming will be made public. Watch the news. The report is issued by scientists from around the world from what I know. The lowdown is that global warming is not just for future generations to deal with…..serious effects, while already being felt, will escalate in the next 10 years.
We, as a family, plan to make changes in our lifestyle. What those are we don’t not yet know if full. If any of you have thoughts on this topic, I would love to hear about it.

I’ve been thinking about that quite a bit. Coming on the tail of the great pantry challenge, I’ve been caught by it. How will we change? What can we do?

My assumptions have always been that if everyone were to change a little bit. And then a little bit more. If we all committed to doing one little thing each quarter and holding to it. It doesn’t have to be the same thing, just one thing that commits us to living more gently on the earth, it will make a great difference. That we all separately are small drips, but together we can form a great flood.

My mother responded with some tips from the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) and a website called Go Carbon Neutral. The tips from the CBC are below:

1. Don’t idle your car or leave it running.
2. Turn down the heat.
3. Recycle, recycle, recycle.
4. Use compact flourescent light bulbs as much as possible.
5. Reduce air travel.
6. Buy renewable energy.
7. Buy less and buy local.
8. Trade up to Energy Star rated appliances.
9. Drive less.
10. Retrofit your home.

… and the LightMother noted that this will “… take a massive amount of reorienting our lives to meet this challenge – not unlike the changes during WWII when there was rationing and meatless Mondays so the troops had enough meat. Or WWI when there were heatless Thursdays (and businesses closed) so there was enough coal for the ships taking goods and men to Europe.”

So … what will you do? Become part of the flood, before the “flood.”

UPDATE:  I love Vermonters and what they do when they come to Washington.  James Jeffords, who recently retired from the US Senate, first came to DC as a Congressional Representative in the 1970’s during the oil embargo and resulting gas crisis.  His response … install a woodstove in his DC office to reduce the need for petroleum.  Similar leadership is now needed and Vermonters are among the first to provide it in Congress.  Read this article from the Houston Chronicle … what I found astonishing was that the amount of money needed to offset the annual travel by a Representative and his staff was only $672 to for his whole office to become carbon neutral.  His money quote follows here:

“That ads up,” Welch said. “So thousands of small actions are going to add up to a different way of doing business that can be good for the environment.”

Be part of the flood …

I’ve been reconnecting with old friends recently. People from our CLB and friends I’ve had for years but fell out of communication with. I spent two hours on the phone with one last night. I’ve known her since LightGirl was 6 months old. Until recently, our children grew up together. Now, hers are in public school and mine are homeschooled. So it’s a little more difficult. We’ve been through all sorts of hard times together, like when she almost died because of a tumor, but a miracle pregnancy saved her life. I’m one of the few adults who really know her oldest daughter. GoldenSmiles is not smiling these days. She’s having a tough time with adolesence. She’s experimenting with drugs and run away. I tried to drop a few words of grace into the situation, hoping that MerryLaughs will give her daughter some space. The last three or four years have been very hard on their family and GoldenSmiles has always stood in the gap emotionally … I think she’s just worn out.

Another friend reconnected with me recently. She had some old quilting things that she no longer needed and was giving them to the guild. We had a lovely chat. Her oldest daughter left home for college in the fall. Her son (who was the oldest) died when he was 12 of complications from cystic fibrosis … so he would be 20 now. Having her daughter go to college is an enormous victory for her. She was able to let go gradually and gracefully and their family, while never the same, is healthy. I was so very happy for her. But she kept saying that her daughter was, “… one of the Godliest young women I know.” This was something that made her happy and proud, so I nodded and smiled. There was a time when I thought I knew what that meant, but now I’m not so sure.

Then, I read this article (ht to Will Samson) about fathers and daughters so concerned with the daughters “purity” that they attended a Purity Ball. Maybe this is some of what my friend was talking about. I know that in other conversations I’ve recently had with old friends about this and that, I’ve realized how prevalent is the notion that husbands are in charge. We have friends who’s daughter is LightGirl’s age and I have no doubt that she and her father will attend a Purity Ball.

I have mixed feelings about this. I understand the notion behind it. The idea that fathers have a great deal more impact on the health and well being of their children than has been previously understood. I also understand the notion that there is a desire for the daughters to enter marriage as healthy and whole young women. I just can’t shake the idea that this route in some way further objectifies women and turns them into life-size beautiful Cabbage Patch dolls. If women are responsible adults, who are responsible for their behavior in other areas of their life, then they must also be responsible for this. The only path to responsibility lies in embracing who they are and how they came to be this way. Denial and giving the responsibility to someone else is no replacement for knowing and owning yourself and standing before God with the only covering that anyone needs: the mantle provided by Jesus.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about integrity. I looked the word up recently on several websites … it means complete or pure or whole. It comes from a Latin word which is also the root word for integer or one. The synonyms for integrity are honesty, unity, and sincerity among others.

I’ve often thought that integrity is something that one can never have taken away from you. One may indeed give it away through acts of commission or ommission. But no one may ever have it taken away from them by others. I’ve been realizing lately that is not true. Others can take your integrity from you and your credibility as well. Once someone makes up their mind to believe a certain thing about you, there is nothing you can say or do to make them change their mind. Sometimes even evidence to the contrary is dismissed out of hand. It can be frustrating and terrifying. And once gone, there is nothing that can be done to retrieve it.

This has caused me to reflect on my grandfather. He was a Teamster. Specifically, he helped organize the union in Springfield, Massaschusetts. In an attempt to break the union up, he, as the union treasurer, was framed in 1939 or 1940. He spent a year in prison for embezzling funds. His integrity was shot.  Gone.  Taken from him by unscrupulous corporate snakes.  I don’t know all of the details and likely never will.  I do know that after approximately a year in prison, the governor of Massachusetts pardoned him.  I believe it was even better than that … I believe his case was withdrawn and thrown out.  As if it never happened.  All because evidence was found exonerating my grandpa.  He returned to his post, his name, integrity and credibility restored.

I’ve been wondering, though, what happens if or when that evidence is not found?  Or the evidence is not believed?  How does one live and work and play with people who do not trust the core of who you are?  Can you?  What if you woke up one morning and found out that some of your dearest friends didn’t really know you or want to know you at all?  Then what would you do?

… in which I attempt to function on 13 hours of sleep spread over 3 nights.
Breakfast – LightGirl had a sleepover Saturday night.  I don’t know what LightHusband and LightBoy had.  I was too heartsick to eat.

Lunch – frozen stuff that had been reheated

Dinner – McDonalds … see above and LightHusband was well-drugged because of some back problems.  Between the lack of sleep (me) and the drugs (him) we can’t think straight today.

BlazingEwe came over and hung out with me.  We took a therapeutic shopping trip to my/our favorite quilting store.  We’re taking a class in February and I “needed” fabric.  Well, I actually did need fabric … I just needed more today.  I breathed in deeply of the fabric endorphins and found some solace there.

As part of this pantry challenge, I’ve been thinking about abundance. Well, when I haven’t been scourging myself with whips of self-hatred for the hoarding habit I seem to have slipped into, I’ve been allowing a few other more productive thoughts to slip through.

One of the things my church has in abundance is women or girls named Kate. I’m friends with one of them. Well, it’s a small church, so I’m friends with all of them. We have a larger abundance of women or girls who have been named in some form after the Virgin Queen. Kate’s daughter is one of those. I love Kate’s daughter. She is quite small. One of my very favorite things about her is that she is most particular about who she will spend her valuable time with. I know that this is quite an embarassment to Kate. But I think it’s a valuable character trait and should be nurtured. Now, of course, at her young age perhaps she is not as polished as her dear mother might wish at expressing her desires. But I would love to be as clear in my mind about who is worthy of my time and who is not. She knows, very clearly, when she wants to play and that she does not want to waste her time with dorky adults. And she gives them what has become known in our church as, “the stink eye.” I love that term. I love that little girl. I love her ability to prioritize herself and have clear boundaries.

Today I’m giving myself the stink eye. I find that I need it. Sherri, my pantry pal, is asking how we might reload our pantries once we have emptied them? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself. How will we change our shopping habits? Our eating habits? Our dining habits? Then … the stink eye question comes … or will we? Will we actually allow this experience to penetrate our hard heads, concrete hearts and deeply rutted lives and cause change to occur?

The stink eye is far more winsome on a little girl than it is in my mind’s eye.

… in which we subliminally toss the whole thing out the window.

Breakfast – LightHusband was up and out before the rest of us awoke, but there was a telltale bowl on the table. LightChildren had cereal … I think. I believe I may have forgotten to eat a proper breakfast but did toast a remaining English muffin around 11 and had some strawberry rhubarb jam on it.

Lunch – you guessed it.

Dinner – was supposed to be fried rice. But when we pulled our 3 frozen chicken breasts from the freezer … they had been gone too long. Remember I said I’ve been faint of heart? It was the FlamingLamb twins birthday, so we went out to dinner to celebrate. We have not bought any food to add to our pantry. But we may be out of the competition. I’ll leave that one up to the judges.

Today is the big retreat day. I’m making bean soup, curried rice salad and corn bread for lunch. I’m making some changes to the bean soup recipe because we do not have tomato-vegetable soup. So I’m using chili sauce and chicken broth with additional herbs and spices. Since I’ve never made this before I have no expectations.

Dinner will be frozen lasagna with homemade bread. I’m also making bread pudding with hard sauce. Afternoon snack will be scones and coffee.

I love bread machines.

Tomorrow I may just collapse.

Update:  at breakfast this morning … LightHusband, “Last of the juice!”  LightBoy, “One step closer to FAST FOOD!!!!”

… in which I can’t remember what day number it was. It was Sunday. Church of the Common Table.

Breakfast – grabbed a bowl of cereal … I’m LATE for setting up and helping my teammates. LightHusband and LightChildren were not too far behind me. Not sure what they did. LightChildren later copped to purchasing breakfast at the coffeeshop where we meet.
Lunch – is part of church. Really it is. For three years now we’ve trundled across the parking lot to Chipotle’s for lunch after our service. Last year we gave that up for Lent, put the money we would have spent into a jar and gave it to a refugee family with nothing. We then had simple lunches (beans and rice or pb&j sandwiches) in homes. We’re thinking of doing the same thing this year. So … I’m not making this up. We even give away Chipotle meal certificates to first time visitors so they can join us without feeling the money crunch.

Dinner – Marinara sauce with meatballs over penne pasta and a big glass of milk.

I’m having a friend over for coffee this afternoon. I can make scones!! I have scone mix in the cupboard. YAY. I also have my brother’s most excellent jam. If you can get your hands on it, it’s the best jam in the world. No pectin, all fruit and sugar. YUM. One day soon he’ll have a website up and you can look for Side Hill Farm Jam. I also happen to have some whipped cream (in a can) … yes, hanging my head. I have ReddiWhip. I really do need to wear a paper bag. My grandmother would be ashamed.

I’m having another friend over for coffee later in the week. He and his baby daughter will need some treats, but it might not be as pretty as scones. I think I might have the ingredients for some fun cookies.  On the other hand, I’m not making any promises to anyone who might be reading this and beginning to anticipate anything 😉

Next weekend we have a real challenge.  We’re hosting a mini-retreat for 8 people here.  ALL day … it’s a combined meeting of our church’s Leadership and Design Teams.  I love all of these people.  But they’ve gotten used to the bar being set a certain level when events are in our home.  I hope they can live with the creative disappointment on Saturday.  We’ll have lots of good hot coffee and tea and I can bake.  There will probably be soup.  Beyond that I have to put my mind to it.  Does it count if we make it potluck?

Here are some odd things that have happened.  I’m hungry all the time.  I’m not conciously denying myself anything at meals.  But I’m not snacking in between either.  I’m not ravenous, just a low level nagging if I ate something now I’d feel satiated and boy, I’d really love some ice cream, kind of hungry.  But we don’t have any ice cream.  What does this say about the state of poverty?  I could tell you, but I’ll let you form your own conclusions.  (Euphemism for I’m still thinking about this and will write more later).

Another odd thing is that I woke up today and the very first thought that ran through my head before and during my eyes opening up was I’m angry that I did this.  I just want to go to the grocery store and eat what I want to eat.  While I was still in sleep mode I was angry at someone else (not sure who).  As I woke up I realized that was unreasonable as this was more or less my idea.  So I was left with being angry at myself.  That was an uncomfortable awakening.  So I lay there for a while and shook it off, but I’m still not sure what to make of it.  Any ideas?

… in which I believe we finally have buy-in.  Or.  Something.

Breakfast – eggs.  We were out of milk.

Lunch – I’m told it was a delicious casserole of Annies Mac n Cheese with bratwurst and vegetables.  OTOH … it was my turn for a lunch meeting.

Dinner – A delicious Asian pre-packaged meal alaSchwan’s augmented with some ChickenPadThai noodles from the pantry.  It was yummy.  Made yummier by the fact that there was very little complaining.  Yes!!

The hostess of my lunch meeting was certain I would not be breaking the rules to bring home some of her delicious cookies.  But I didn’t want to tempt fate.  Especially not with the all-seeing AwakeEye there … he might’ve narced on me to the judges 😉

Tomorrow … things are going to start to get … ummmm … creative.  I think we’re starting to run out of the salt-marinated convenience food.  We’re also going to have to turn Mr.Schwan’sMan away from the door empty-handed as it were.  I feel badly about that.  He works on commission.   So, how does that figure into this?  When someone you know is depending on you to purchase groceries … then what?  Ouch!  I mean … really … the food is not that healthy.  But still …

True confessions time.

Here is something I have struggled with for my whole Christian walk. I do not like to refer to myself as “born again” or “saved.” I’ll wear evangelical, I’ll wear Christian, I’ll wear many other labels; but those two make me uncomfortable. They conjur up images of polyester suits and too much makeup; people with an artificial veneer who want to sell something that is worth less than the asking price. People who are charlatans after a fashion. I do not want to associate myself with those labels and those mental pictures. I don’t want to associate Jesus with people who are artificial charlatans.

I’ve been reading a couple of other blogs with interest. First, Kievas mused on the labels herself the other day. She doesn’t have the hangups about them that I do. But she’s a little wary of them nonetheless. I like her notion that perhaps they are too finite and one’s faith is better described more in terms of a journey than in stop-motion. Then, Patrick was wrestling with the terminology surrounding salvation. He’s not much enamoured with the word “saved” and would like a broader term such as “liberate.” I happen to agree with him and concur with his reasoning (he’s got more training than I). But I also think that perhaps we in the 21st century might just be using the word “saved” in a different context than it was originally used by Jesus and his disciples in the first century. I don’t know enough Aramaic (euphemism for … none) to guess. But when I did a word search in the New Testament on ‘saved’ and read through the passages, I think it’s just possible that we made the answers too easy.

For myself, now, I still don’t know what to call myself. Or how to refer to my moments (and they are several) of faith choices. Biblically speaking, it is pretty clear that Jesus spoke of having a spiritual re-birth. This was and is not unusual. He spoke of salvation coming through Him. But He wasn’t really that clear-cut on how it would happen. It seems to me that people who would like to make a system of it are diminishing the power, majesty and mystery of God (or maybe I have a superiority complex). Sixteen years or so ago I began the process of turning my face to the Son. Some days are not as blinding as others. And I think that’s about the clearest thing I can say about it now.

Jamie at MoreThanStone tagged me in a meme … it’s a fun one, so I’m being compliant 😉 but I’m a day late and a dollar short because I’ve been lagging behind in my blog reading. Sorry about that Jamie.

1) What’s the most fun work you’ve ever done, and why?

My most fun work ever was when I was a member of the word processing pool at Prison Fellowship. I got to type Chuck Colson’s Breakpoint episodes and I got in good with guys in the IT department. They used to give me all the new software to try out and learn first before installing it throughout the organization. There was no pressure at that job, I just showed up, did a good job for a good reason and went home. It was pretty neat.

2) A. Name one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did?

Rode my bicycle everywhere. I used to ride my bike as an adult in the city to work and back and I was fit. I wish I rode my bike more and had a reason to.

B. Name one thing you’ve always wanted to do but keep putting it off?

Visit Scotland, Ireland and northern England. OR … take the LightChildren to Yellowstone.

3) A. What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why?

I want to learn how to take photographs and turn them into quilts. I also want to learn/become better at mediation. I started learning this in college, but that was a long time ago … I want to revisit it and grow it.

B. If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it be and what would you hope to learn?

I’d want to apprentice under Mahatma Gandhi because I want to learn his abilities to speak peace, redemption and reconciliation into hate and anger.

4) A. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you?

smart, scattered, silly

B. Now list two more words you wish described you…

wisdom, tact

5) What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes)

Like Jamie, it’s my blog and I’m the boss of me … so, I’m changing this question to—

Assuming love of God and love of family, what are your top three passions?

Redemption, history, fabric (not necessarily in that order) 😉

6) Write–and answer–one more question that YOU would ask someone

What is your vision for bringing about the Kingdom in the here and now?

You know that horrid bumper sticker campaign about random acts of kindness? Yeah … that’s my vision. If everyone (including me) were on the lookout for the random acts of kindness they could do and smiles they could give out each day I think we’d be a step closer every day.

So … now I get to tag a few people. Here goes nothing. I tag … J4CK13, Kievas, Princess of Everything, and Becky … have fun stretching out to this. It really is good.