… in which we begin to daydream about what we will purchase on that first trip back to the grocery store.

Breakfast – grilled potatoes and eggs mixed together.

Lunch – LightHusband had one of his now infamous lunch meetings. I worked out with friends so LightChildren were on their own. I had a grilled cheese sandwich upon my return before I shot off to another appointment.

Dinner – Inch-thick porkchops baked in glaze of MapleApple Drizzle, with Sweet Apple Orzo and Sugar Snap Peas on the side. It should have been wonderful and the table looked spectacular. And after 14 days on this challenge I was quite proud of this achievement …. until that first bite of pork chop …. that took five. minutes. (and some very hard work) to chew. Pork chops which have been frozen for 5 months are sort of ummmmm …. tough. So we laughed and giggled all through dinner and called them pork bricks and decided that even the LightDog might hurt his jaws on them. Then we began discussing how this whole experience might change the way we think about food and how we eat. What things we buy and where and when we eat. It was a good meal.

The cereal is all gone. I could make oatmeal, except that my homemade oatmeal requires applejuice. So that’s out. We’re down to some version of eggs or pancakes/waffles for breakfast. We still have gobs and gobs of frozen crap for lunches. We all decided that we don’t particularly care for that stuff. We won’t be purchasing it anymore.

In the main, I think we’re going to be more intentional about food. Which sounds sort of silly. But I think we’re going to go to the grocery store less often and with a list and a plan. And stick to the plan during the week. I know the LightChildren will heartily disagree with this, but there has been a lot of freedom in this challenge. There is tyranny in too many choices. Freedom may be found in just the right number of choices. This seems counter-intuitive, but it’s something I’m finding more and more often as I get a little further along in my journey of life.

Now for a random change of thought.  I was in a different from usual grocery store the other day (to purchase eggs and milk).  In this particular store the cigarettes were directly behind the cashier and the carton prices were clearly marked on brightly colored pieces of paper.  I was with BlazingEwe and we both commented on how very expensive cigarettes are.  We asked the cashier what the per pack price is.  Her answer?  $3 to $5 per pack depending on the brand.  The per carton prices were around $35 each.  We walked out astonished.  And commented on the fact that smoking is a habit that is found primarily among the working class; those who can least afford it.  They are those who can least afford the habit or the health consequences.  It just wrung our hearts.

… in which I think I must have lost count somewhere …

Breakfast – cereal supplies are dwindling.  We still had cereal, but I had the last crumbs of Life and we began to discuss what we would have for breakfast after the cereal runs out.

Lunch – more of the seemingly endless supplies of frozen crap

Dinner – LightHusband and LightChildren ate at hockey rink where LightGirl had practice and LightBoy had lessons.  BlazingEwe came over while the FlamingLambs also went to the rink for skating lessons with LightHusband.  She and I had leftover curried rice salad and cheddar cheese for dinner while we cut fabric for our class in February.

Nothing witty or insightful today.  Maybe we’ll take some photos.  Our shelves are getting bare.  I haven’t checked the freezer lately.  We keep using stuff and using stuff and it seems to be endless.  I would like to go shopping some day soon.

… in which I attempt to function on 13 hours of sleep spread over 3 nights.
Breakfast – LightGirl had a sleepover Saturday night.  I don’t know what LightHusband and LightBoy had.  I was too heartsick to eat.

Lunch – frozen stuff that had been reheated

Dinner – McDonalds … see above and LightHusband was well-drugged because of some back problems.  Between the lack of sleep (me) and the drugs (him) we can’t think straight today.

BlazingEwe came over and hung out with me.  We took a therapeutic shopping trip to my/our favorite quilting store.  We’re taking a class in February and I “needed” fabric.  Well, I actually did need fabric … I just needed more today.  I breathed in deeply of the fabric endorphins and found some solace there.

… in which we subliminally toss the whole thing out the window.

Breakfast – LightHusband was up and out before the rest of us awoke, but there was a telltale bowl on the table. LightChildren had cereal … I think. I believe I may have forgotten to eat a proper breakfast but did toast a remaining English muffin around 11 and had some strawberry rhubarb jam on it.

Lunch – you guessed it.

Dinner – was supposed to be fried rice. But when we pulled our 3 frozen chicken breasts from the freezer … they had been gone too long. Remember I said I’ve been faint of heart? It was the FlamingLamb twins birthday, so we went out to dinner to celebrate. We have not bought any food to add to our pantry. But we may be out of the competition. I’ll leave that one up to the judges.

Today is the big retreat day. I’m making bean soup, curried rice salad and corn bread for lunch. I’m making some changes to the bean soup recipe because we do not have tomato-vegetable soup. So I’m using chili sauce and chicken broth with additional herbs and spices. Since I’ve never made this before I have no expectations.

Dinner will be frozen lasagna with homemade bread. I’m also making bread pudding with hard sauce. Afternoon snack will be scones and coffee.

I love bread machines.

Tomorrow I may just collapse.

Update:  at breakfast this morning … LightHusband, “Last of the juice!”  LightBoy, “One step closer to FAST FOOD!!!!”

… in which we process steadily onward.

Breakfast – cereal.  Supplies are beginning to run low.  I had biscuits leftover from the previous night’s dinner with jam and a glass of milk.

Lunch – LightGirl and LightHusband were perfidious and had trashy frozen things.  LightBoy loves his mother and remembered the leftover soup.  I forgot to eat lunch.  I was making gingerbread.

Dinner – we attempted to make fried rice, but searched high and low for the cover to the rice cooker.  So LightHusband redeemed his earlier perfidy by making something … it included tortellini, previously prepared chicken bits, mixed veggies (broccoli, carrots and water chestnuts?), and spill of dried cilantro all tossed together with sesame ginger dressing.  We called it Cilantro Surprise.

Then we watched the NHL All Star hockey game and ate popcorn.  We drank pomegranate spritzers with our popcorn … san Pellegrino with pomegranate juice.  We are so poor and destitute.  Bleh.  This is turning into a self-hatred event for me.  Perhaps I need to drop out now.

The gingerbread was delicious.  I’ve found a yummy dessert for our Saturday mini-retreat.  I need to find something fun for an afternoon snack … I’m sure I will.  I have a can of pumpkin in the pantry; maybe pumpkin bread or pumpkin muffins.  I also know we have mounds and mounds of frozen appetizer treats.  Ugh.  More self-hatred.

… in which I begin to embrace the reality of my packratting ways.

Breakfast – cereal all around. Yes, we still have cereal. Yes, I am still hoarding the “Life.” Yes, I am the evil Mommy.

Lunch – after the great freezer purge and reorganize we all had various frozen treats that were reheated in the microwave. I had chicken potpie. We have many, many chicken pot pies. The LightChildren had single serve lasagnas.

Dinner – homemade beef & barley soup with Schwan’s Southern Style biscuits. Finished one bag (three more to go) This is terrible. LightBoy made cookies for dessert. There is enough leftover soup for another meal and several single servings.

From what I understand we are down to three now. Sherri, Steve and me/us. As my AwakeFriend pointed out to me with his characteristic wiseacre grin, the winner here is really the biggest loser. Whoever wins, we both agreed, is the one who’s been hoarding the most food and who wants to cop to that? So this contest is now beginning to give me a stomache-ache. Do I really want my nasty little hoarding habits hung out on a limb for all to see? I know I hoard fabric, but that doesn’t cause anyone else to go to sleep hungry, does it? Or does it? I’m not so sure any more.

It has made LightHusband happy. Our outflow in the cash department has all but ceased. Good for the bank account. Hmmm … there are some good lessons there. Lessons that I hoped we’d learn. But will they hold? That remains to be seen. Is it wise to help our bank account? What does that do to the local economy? That’s no excuse to spend wildly, but what does it do to the economy for everyone to become thrifty?

Well, the aforementioned AwakeFriend is coming for coffee and I might have mentioned some gingerbread. So I’m going to rustle some up and ponder these large questions of life.

… in which we provide photographic evidence of the horror.

LightHusband got a bee in his bonnet this morning and emptied our freezers (3 … one small chest freezer and two frig-freezers) on to our washer and dryer.  The inventory system was not working.  The LightChildren are now compliant with the challenge. They will not, however, provide an inventory for said challenge. Ungrateful wretches. Once all of the frozen food was on the washer/dryer, he photographed it (while I hid my head in the sand). He then reorganized it all in the 3 freezers. Here are the photos of our frozen food, the pantry and our refrigerator.

Note: not all boxes and bags are full. For instance, there’s a huge bag of frozen chicken breasts in there that only had two breasts in it. I do realize, however, that this does nothing but incriminate me.

Believe it or not, our frig is beginning to look a little empty.  Okay, not empty … but at least we are using stuff instead of just piling leftovers in that never get eaten.  Now they get eaten.

The top shelf is almost all condiments (because LightHusband is having a love affair with condiments and hey, at least I know where he is at night). The big red tub is dog food.  Yes, there are 3 jars of maraschino cherries.  A failed holiday cooking attempt. Stop laughing … you know you have those too.

Next week I’m starting a 12 step program for hoarders.  Do I have any fellow members?

… in which I finally achieve one goal and begin to get creative.

Breakfast – homemade oatmeal with dried cranberries substituted for raisins (since I threw our nasty old dried up fuzzy crumbly raisins away in the pantry purge a few weeks before the Pantry Challenge). LightChildren declared cranberries far more excellent than raisins. I wouldn’t know … I hate oatmeal. I’ll make it, but I won’t eat it.

Lunch – LightChildren had a buffet of various frozen, then baked convenience foods (clam strips, cod nuggets) and some leftover mac & cheese, so did LightHusband. BlazingEwe and FlamingLambs were here and her children shared said frozen feast. BlazingEwe and I (on the other hand) prepared a tasty lunch of cream of tomato soup and grilled cheddar cheese with apple sandwiches. YUM.

Dinner – scones. Coffee with my friend went long. We had lots and lots to catch up on. So we just kept eating scones and grinning at each other because we were being naughty (not eating a proper dinner as our mothers taught us). I did get hungry later on and have a chicken pot pie from the freezer.

Tonight’s dinner is already half-way done … I began a beef and barley soup from some roast beef bones in my frig. I think it’s time to break out the bread machine as well. Our bread is finally gone.

I did realize that we do have some things to serve our guests on Saturday. There is an enormous lasagna in the freezer that will do well for dinner. I can make bread. I can make other yummy things throughout the day. The only thing that will be lacking is a salad.

I ought to have some erudite bit to say here.

All of this is really driving home to me how difficult it is to keep up with fresh fruit and vegetables.  If one is truly impoverished, even by our standards here in the US, having a balanced diet is nearly impossible.  Yet that is what is necessary to achieve balance as a human being.  It is the cornerstone for nearly every pursuit in life.  I am allowing this to happen in our lives because I know that it is short term.  But what about those for whom fruit and vegetables are not ordinary, but luxuries?  Or sufficient protein?

I have a foggy distant memory from my childhood of a number beyond which this planet could not sustain life.  I don’t remember what the number was.  I just remember it as a population number that was estimated we (as in the global we) had the power to attain in my lifetime.  I have a memory too, that there was much debate at the time over the number and the powers of progressive, industrial farming to overcome the number.  Or the powers of family planning methods to remove our collective feet from the gas pedal.  I remember that younger friends of my parents talked about this and made plans to have two or fewer children.  Once in a while now, as I engage in experiences like this pantry challenge, I wonder about our estimates of how many people our planet can sustain.  How do we measure that?  What does it mean to sustain life?  How do we measure a life?  I’m not entertaining any horrible notions of genocide.  But I wonder at times about our measures of life.  I think that there are some things that defy measurement.  Perhaps my question would better be:  Can we measure a life?  What does it take to sustain that life well?

… in which I can’t remember what day number it was. It was Sunday. Church of the Common Table.

Breakfast – grabbed a bowl of cereal … I’m LATE for setting up and helping my teammates. LightHusband and LightChildren were not too far behind me. Not sure what they did. LightChildren later copped to purchasing breakfast at the coffeeshop where we meet.
Lunch – is part of church. Really it is. For three years now we’ve trundled across the parking lot to Chipotle’s for lunch after our service. Last year we gave that up for Lent, put the money we would have spent into a jar and gave it to a refugee family with nothing. We then had simple lunches (beans and rice or pb&j sandwiches) in homes. We’re thinking of doing the same thing this year. So … I’m not making this up. We even give away Chipotle meal certificates to first time visitors so they can join us without feeling the money crunch.

Dinner – Marinara sauce with meatballs over penne pasta and a big glass of milk.

I’m having a friend over for coffee this afternoon. I can make scones!! I have scone mix in the cupboard. YAY. I also have my brother’s most excellent jam. If you can get your hands on it, it’s the best jam in the world. No pectin, all fruit and sugar. YUM. One day soon he’ll have a website up and you can look for Side Hill Farm Jam. I also happen to have some whipped cream (in a can) … yes, hanging my head. I have ReddiWhip. I really do need to wear a paper bag. My grandmother would be ashamed.

I’m having another friend over for coffee later in the week. He and his baby daughter will need some treats, but it might not be as pretty as scones. I think I might have the ingredients for some fun cookies.  On the other hand, I’m not making any promises to anyone who might be reading this and beginning to anticipate anything 😉

Next weekend we have a real challenge.  We’re hosting a mini-retreat for 8 people here.  ALL day … it’s a combined meeting of our church’s Leadership and Design Teams.  I love all of these people.  But they’ve gotten used to the bar being set a certain level when events are in our home.  I hope they can live with the creative disappointment on Saturday.  We’ll have lots of good hot coffee and tea and I can bake.  There will probably be soup.  Beyond that I have to put my mind to it.  Does it count if we make it potluck?

Here are some odd things that have happened.  I’m hungry all the time.  I’m not conciously denying myself anything at meals.  But I’m not snacking in between either.  I’m not ravenous, just a low level nagging if I ate something now I’d feel satiated and boy, I’d really love some ice cream, kind of hungry.  But we don’t have any ice cream.  What does this say about the state of poverty?  I could tell you, but I’ll let you form your own conclusions.  (Euphemism for I’m still thinking about this and will write more later).

Another odd thing is that I woke up today and the very first thought that ran through my head before and during my eyes opening up was I’m angry that I did this.  I just want to go to the grocery store and eat what I want to eat.  While I was still in sleep mode I was angry at someone else (not sure who).  As I woke up I realized that was unreasonable as this was more or less my idea.  So I was left with being angry at myself.  That was an uncomfortable awakening.  So I lay there for a while and shook it off, but I’m still not sure what to make of it.  Any ideas?

… in which I believe we finally have buy-in.  Or.  Something.

Breakfast – eggs.  We were out of milk.

Lunch – I’m told it was a delicious casserole of Annies Mac n Cheese with bratwurst and vegetables.  OTOH … it was my turn for a lunch meeting.

Dinner – A delicious Asian pre-packaged meal alaSchwan’s augmented with some ChickenPadThai noodles from the pantry.  It was yummy.  Made yummier by the fact that there was very little complaining.  Yes!!

The hostess of my lunch meeting was certain I would not be breaking the rules to bring home some of her delicious cookies.  But I didn’t want to tempt fate.  Especially not with the all-seeing AwakeEye there … he might’ve narced on me to the judges 😉

Tomorrow … things are going to start to get … ummmm … creative.  I think we’re starting to run out of the salt-marinated convenience food.  We’re also going to have to turn Mr.Schwan’sMan away from the door empty-handed as it were.  I feel badly about that.  He works on commission.   So, how does that figure into this?  When someone you know is depending on you to purchase groceries … then what?  Ouch!  I mean … really … the food is not that healthy.  But still …