… and my kicks for free!

Well, actually I’m getting a book for free. I’m getting a $17.00 book for free. Paraclete Press was (note the tense on that verb) giving away 50 copies of this book and I snuck in under the wire. I’m excited because just about the time we get to this period in history again, LightGirl will be old enough to read it. On the other hand, she might be old enough to read it now depending on how Tony Jones has edited it! Or it may come in handy for a co-op class in the fall. Ohhh … the possibilities are piling up. I’m really looking forward to it.

It is one of the great failures of the modern mind that people are products. We have all been taught from the cradle that if we follow a certain “recipe” (and the recipes vary) we will become “good.” Or maybe it’s that we will retain the goodness that we had from infancy (depending upon your perspective). In any case, we all have this idea that we have control over children and how they will grow up. The further I get into the process of parenting (and LightGirl is now 12 and a half) and having spent 6 years in youth ministry, the less I am convinced of this.

Society, culture, advertising, parenting magazines, all tell us that if we just choose the “right” products, the “right” pre-school, the “right” after school program, the “right” summer camp, the “right” school. Have all the “right” parties at just the “right” age. Amass the perfect collection of toys to influence the growing mind at just the “right” time. Make sure the friends are just so. In short, control the child’s environment in every manner possible.

We are told from all angles that if we find the magic recipe for doing this, our children will be kept safe. They will not experience any trials. They will waft into the Ivy League college of their choice on a magic carpet of woven of grades, character, and beauty.

Yet … I look around me and see that this is not the stuff of real life. This is marketing. This is parents desparate to find a panacea for all the fear that is poured into their ears every night from media of all sorts. How to protect my children from all the evil in the world? I cannot.

Whether or not you believe in God, or the Bible … even if you see the story of Genesis as just a nice myth. It remains a myth that is instructive. In the world of the ancient Hebrews they believed it important to tell and write that even an omnipotent, all powerful God created humans who turned their backs and walked away. Those humans were in the most perfect controlled environment that ever existed and yet, they still exerted their own will.

I’m coming to a place where I don’t think we can keep our children safe from evil. The very best thing we can do is tell them what it is, and how to keep themselves safe. Like God in the story of Genesis, the only thing we can do is point out the pitfalls, and consequences of bad decisions, and continue to love our children when they do stumble and fall. I’m coming to a place where I don’t want to teach my children how to be safe, I want to teach them how to be discerning and wise. I don’t think my children are a product of any recipe, but developing humans who change moment by moment and I must be willing to change with them. I must also be willing to let them stumble, for it is that very stumbling which will build their character. In the end, I can only influence them. I cannot control their character at all.

As they say, “It ain’t over til the fat lady sings.” and she’s not singing in Edmonton Alberta Canada. Not yet anyway.

The Edmonton Oilers finally won a game last night. It was game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals against the Carolina Hurricanes. We are rooting for the Oilers and they lost the first two games. But they pulled it off last night and won one. It was great to see the crowd in the arena singing O Canada.

We’ll be watching again on Monday night. LightGirl wants to send them tips on how to beat the ‘Canes … but she hasn’t come up with anything very original yet; other than take out Brindamour (the Canes team captain). This is not very legal or ethical, so we are not encouraging her.

Among the many reasons I like going to the Homeschool Convention is that I often run into friends there. Sometimes I see people there that I never see anywhere else. I’ve made friends there at the vendor booths amongst the curriculum vendors. I like to support the people who write the curriculum I use, so I try to purchase directly from the authors or publishers when I can. It keeps them in business and I feel a certain brand loyalty. I don’t do this anywhere else. But here I know my business makes a difference. I had to say good-bye to one vendor this year. She’s moving on. She’s been the right hand woman with Peace Hill Press (our history curriculum) from the beginning, but her youngest child has graduated and now she herself has gone back to college. I’m very happy for her and it gave me great encouragement to hear her story. To know that this is not the end and I have another life to live.

I also ran into a long ago friend from our old church. I’ll call her Julie (which is not her real name). Julie left our old church a long time ago. She and her husband knew us before we had our children. They left our church when they had about 4 children and went on to have a total of 9 children. I’d always had a lot of respect for Julie when she was at our church. She’d gotten a masters in engineering before getting married, so I know she’s smart. I know she’s smart from talking to her too. When the babies started, she stayed home to raise her family and when the oldest was in 2nd or 3rd grade they decided to begin homeschooling. She’d only been homeschooling 3 or so years when they left our old church. I’ve run into her a couple of times in the intervening years, just enough to say, “Hello. How are you?” Then run along. I think LightGirl was an infant the last time we had a real conversation.

We’d just finished lunch. LightHusband and LightBoy had gone back to the car with the first load of books and curriculum. LightGirl had gone off with a friend she’d run into to chat. I’d stayed at the table for a few extra moments alone to gather my thoughts, look over my list, and think about where I needed to go next. When I stood up to go, I looked over and there was Julie. So, I called out to her. We exchanged a few pleasantries, and then I asked her how things were going for her. She replied, “Well, I’d like to go in there,” and she gestured toward the Vendor Hall, “and tell them that they’re all selling lies. None of it works.” She went on to tell me that her oldest child and son (who is now 21) had had a child of his own out of wedlock. He’d gotten married a month after the baby was born, but it was a Justice-of-the-Peace wedding; she just got a phone call after the fact. She said that the worst part of the whole thing was not the fact of the out-of-wedlock baby, or the JOP wedding, or even the phone call afterwards. It was grieving her dreams for her oldest son. It was all the people at her church who didn’t know what to say to her, so they said nothing. Julie never cries, but her eyes were shiny as she spoke.

I knew what she meant. So many of the vendors in the hall and so many churches are selling answers. So many people are coming to them with huge questions, with enormous hurts and they are responding with simple get-rich, get-healed, raise-perfect-children, quick schemes. They make unspoken promises that if you just follow their recipe, God will honor some sort of deal with you. That they have the plan for growing perfect children. People flock to those boothes, certain that they have found the answer. Certain that this is the place, the book, the curriculum that will work for them. But after several years of doing this, and observing children for many more years than that, I’m beginning to wonder just how those plans are God honoring? Children are independent beings, with free wills, just as I am independent with a free will. If I try to enforce something like faith onto my children, I’m fairly certain it’s just going to bounce back into my face. I think it’s something they have to decide for themselves. They are either going to take it themselves or not. But I can’t force it, I can’t make any kind of deal with God to make it happen, there’s really not much of me in it at all, afterall. Which took me back to Julie’s original point … some of them really were selling lies.

We just came back from the annual homeschooling convention in Richmond. We did things a little differently this year. Usually, we farm the LightChildren out and make it an adults only weekend. We attend workshops and shop the vendor hall. Then we go out to dinner with friends who also homeschool and stay in a hotel and enjoy being adults. We have some favorite restaurants in Richmond. For instance, the Capital Ale House (at 7th and Main) is not to be missed. They have at least a zillion beers and the best burgers anywhere ever! If you think I’m exaggerating, the beer and the burgers alone are worth the drive.

This year, we took the LightChildren and bought a “shopping only” pass to the convention. We shopped til we dropped. The LC had a great time. They got to pick out some of the stuff they’ll study next year. They got to meet some of the people who wrote their curriculum. And talk to some people who were unsure about curriculum they love. For instance, we use a writing curriculum that LightGirl loves and she was able to express that to a woman who was interested in it for her children. They both got to pick out some science kits. LightGirl got a solar powered K’Nex kit and LightBoy got an electronics circuit board kit. We got a field microscope. Most of all we got rejuvenated. We got a lot of books!!

I got to overhear a lot of conversations at the vendor booths as I was shopping. Some of them astonished me. After homeschooling for five years and 2 children, I guess I’m now a veteran. I have a lot to share with these up and coming moms. So I do when I’m asked. People ask questions of each other as they’re standing looking at books. It’s fun. But this conversation left me with my mouth agape, and thinking that perhaps these two needed some remedial help themselves before they schooled their children. I overheard this at a booth selling timeline aids.

Mom A: “You know … I was just in a workshop and the leader said that the Second Temple and the First Olympics happened within a couple of years of one another, and I didn’t even know they were in the same world.”

Mom B: “WOW! I didn’t know that either.”

Vendor: “Look on the timeline at Stonehenge. Can you believe that Stonehenge was built before the Bible was written??!!!!”

Moms A&B: “NO WAY!!!”

Now, I know I’m somewhat of a history buff so perhaps I’m a little biased. But I just don’t think it should come as such a shock to intelligent, educated people that these things are true. Maybe they didn’t know it before (because, honestly, I didn’t know the bit about Stonehenge), but it shouldn’t be such an eyeopener. It should be more of an “oh, well, yes, that makes sense.” It should just be another piece of the puzzle, not a grand epiphany. Especially not if you’ve undertaken the education of someone else. It scared me.

Then I started to realize just why so many people are critical of home education.

I had an odd experience the other evening. I was having dinner at a restaurant that served seafood. On the menu was an item described as “whole belly clams, New England style.” Some friends dining with me, asked what that meant. And I couldn’t answer. I grew up knowing the answer from summers spent on Cape Cod and in Maine and from generations of just being in New England. I know that answer in the marrow of my bones and it’s coded in my DNA. And yet … I couldn’t answer. I’ve been gone too long. The answer eluded me.

We could move back. We consider it frequently. There would be hurdles to overcome. LightGirl overhears the conversations and interjects a horrified, “But ALL my friends are heerrreeee!!” As if she would never make any other friends anywhere else.

On the other hand, she makes the central point of our lives. All of our friends are here too. Not just our friends, our support network. Our family is in New England. But our support network is here.

So I don’t know where home is anymore.

… to Michael Farris, members of HSLDA, and other Christians afraid of the United Nations, the international community, and the big bad wolf in general.

Here is a news flash for all of you. The United Nations is NOT a governing agency. It is not one world government. There are several reasons for this. Primarily, it is not a governing agency because it was never intended to be such. If you read its charter (especially Ch. 1 Art. 2) you will see that. Secondarily, it cannot be a governing agency because it has no enforcement agent. There is no UN police force to enforce the so-called “laws” that the UN passes. Except that the UN doesn’t pass laws. Both the General Assembly and the Security Council pass Resolutions. The Security Council has the ability to back its Resolutions up with a peacekeeping force. But those peacekeeping forces must be multi-national and cannot engage in offensive manuvers. They operate under extremely strict rules of engagement.

It is up to the individual nations whether or not they will abide under the Resolutions passed by United Nations or any other multi-national assemblage. The United States does not have a very good track record of playing well with others in this regard when you consider recent history (Kyoto, Iraq, Guantanamo, etc.).

When Mike Farris writes and/or contributes to articles like this all he is doing is inflaming the emotions of those too busy and worn down by fear to do their own homework and learn what really goes on in New York and Brussels and around the world.

Summer is now firmly upon us. The heat is beginning to set in and the humidity is not far behind. This summer will be a first for the LightFamily … the LightChildren are going to camp. LightGirl is going to hockey camp and LightBoy is going to nature camp. They are both very, very excited about this.

LightGirl has been taking skating lessons all year and has some sense of what she is getting into. She has also been watching hockey. Reading hockey books. Engaging in some hockey training. Dreaming hockey dreams. Talking to her hockey posters. Memorizing hockey statistics (thus putting an end to the notion that she is incapable of memorization). So she is, in some sense, prepared for what will be happening to her at hockey camp. She will also be attending with a friend.

LightBoy will be attending nature camp through our county’s parks and recreation system. It is the first such camp ever such offered by our county. The week he attends will be the first week. So yesterday evening he and LightHusband attended an Open House to introduce the counselors and camp attendees to one another. LightBoy came back full of enthusiasm. So full of enthusiasm that he introduced LightHusband to his latest solution for two large global problems, global warming and global hunger: potatoes.

Yep. Potatoes are the solution to global warming and starvation. You see, if we grow lots and lots of potatoes that will provide jobs for poor people. Then we peel all the potatoes (more jobs). The potato peels can be turned into hydro-energy for cars (we just need to sell converter kits – more jobs). Then we package the peeled potatoes into ziploc baggies (8 potatoes per bag) and send them to all the starving people in the world. In his world, it’s a perfect solution. Of course, we don’t want to dampen his enthusiasm with details about distribution, and how hydro-electricity is so grossly inefficient. He’s definitely a creative problem solver.

I’ve been doing some thinking about consumerism lately. I’ve never been much of a mall rat, but the last two Saturdays I’ve found myself indulging in the great American pasttime – shopping at local malls. I don’t think I’ll do that again for a long time. It’s quite overwhelming.

Last night we actually ate dinner at a mall. We had faux outdoor seating. This meant we were seated outside the restaurant, but inside the mall. So we could see all the mall people walking by. It has long been my habit on such occasions to watch people and think about what they might be thinking. To imagine their lives. I’ve spent lots of time in bus stations watching people walk by and conjuring up lives for them. I listen to bits of conversation and make up the rest. None of this ever stays in my head for very long, but it’s entertainment for the moment. LightHusband observed, “There’s an awful lot of money walking around this mall tonight.” To which I responded, “Yes, a lot of heedless money.”

I’ve been seeing heedless money in many places lately. It was mentioned on one of my favorite television programs. In searching for a missing person, detectives mentioned that authentic Hermes bags sell for $10,000.00! That’s half a car for a pocketbook. There’s nothing in a pocketbook that’s worth that amount of money. I felt guilty for spending $60.00 earlier this year on one. That was the most I’d ever spent on a pocketbook. I still feel guilty.

Then there is this … on eBay. In between fits of laughing I feel like crying. People are willing to bid almost $10,000.00 on this because the money will go to a bird preserve, and children are dying in Africa because they don’t have access to the many inexpensive AIDS drugs that are available. When did birds become more valuable than children?

How heedless will we become?

I haven’t read a book. Well, I have read a lot of books. But I haven’t read this book. Not yet. I’m going to tho, based on this review. And based on a couple of others I’ve read. But I’m also intrigued. This is a book written by the son of an author who was fairly influential in LightHusband’s and my lives during our youth ministry years. This author died relatively young, but it’s clear that he lived a life of integrity with his family, such that his son is now writing influential books too. But read the review and see for yourself. It’s not so much a review, as it is a conversation with the author. At the end is a list of other reviews. And the book is going on my reading list.

Here’s a bit of a quote to get you thinking … it’s part of the conversation with the author, but not part of the book:

It’s difficult to work in the church. There are so many egos and insecurities. So many ways that the church has absorbed the values and mores of the culture (sigh). I don’t know what the specific “resistance” is that you experienced. Most churches are simply secular institutions with a religious veneer. There’s a driveness to succeed, to produce results, to grow numbers, to be productive and efficient–just like any American profit-making institution. Unfortunately, this is all in contrast to the Spirit, message, and life of Jesus. Jesus, to be truthful, is unproductive (in the world’s terms), inefficient and the “results” of his ministry are ambiguous (the disciples flee, misunderstand his identity and intentions, etc.).

“Success is not a name for God” Martin Buber once said, nor is it a name for Jesus. And yet most churches and pastors want to succeed. If not success, then what is it we’re after? Faithfulness. Transparency to God. Obedience (which etymologically means “to listen”). Our job is to be faithful, Mother Teresa once said, not successful. We don’t need churches speaking spiritual truth we need churches that know how to embody the spirit.

Now click here and go read the rest for yourself.